Stillness, my heart.
Lately, I've been thinking on how I practice more stillness in my normal, everyday rhythms. How I can quiet my mind, focus on peaceful thoughts and tasks, as I attempt to reset and realign. Is this even possible in such a busy world where the mark of success is how hard I “hustle” or how much I can fit into my day?
In wading through my thoughts on stillness, I came to realize that I sometimes struggle to be still not only because of external busyness and pressures, but even more so because of an internal insecurity and lack of peace. When I am not in alignment with my core purpose and identity, my mind becomes frenzied, I jump from one incoherent thought to another, then from one meaningless task to another, resulting in physical symptoms of anxiety like a fast heart rate, pit in my stomach, sweaty hands. All in an attempt to quiet the noise inside of me. Externally, nothing is "wrong"... it's all conjured up in my mind.
Recently, while away on our family cabin vacation, I got the chance to practice stillness with consistency. Normally when we're not in vacay-mode, the stillest part of my day is when Evan naps. It's actually not as much "still" as it is simply "quiet", because this is typically when I get some uninterrupted work done, when I bust a move to check things off my ever-growing list. But when on vacation, I didn’t use Evan's naptime time to work or nap myself (I’m the rare #enneagram9 who hates naps 🙈 )... I used this time very intentionally. You see, I was completely enamored by the woods and mountains and bright fall leaves surrounding the front porch. I couldn’t get enough time out there. So I’d use the couple hours that he’d sleep to spend time out on the porch doing leisurely things that I love (these days: reading, practicing my lettering, and just thinking).
This time was healing for me.
I will say... I’ve noticed that I haven’t carved out time for myself like that since being back from vacation, and I can feel my normal anxiousness creeping back up. SO, my goal this week is to find pockets of stillness within my days - to breathe, to refresh, to unwind, to do things that fill my soul.
What does stillness look like for you? Do you get to practice stillness in your day?